If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Language is a city to the building of which every human being
brought a stone.
- read more

Language is a city to the building of which every human being
brought a stone.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson,

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

I can remember the lush spring excitement of language in childhood. Sitting in church, rolling it around my mouth like read more

I can remember the lush spring excitement of language in childhood. Sitting in church, rolling it around my mouth like marbles--tabernacle and pharisee and parable, tresspass and Babylon and covenant.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.