Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no read more

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'

Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'