Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.

Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows

Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions