What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last

Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.

Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love - that's not so bad either.

Sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love - that's not so bad either.

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.