Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer.

The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer.

Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'

Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.