Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Nobody dies from lack of sex. It's lack of love we die from.

Nobody dies from lack of sex. It's lack of love we die from.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

life is the most common disease transmissible through sex

life is the most common disease transmissible through sex

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.