I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?