Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is read more

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.