Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.