Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.