I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.