Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.