Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.