I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think