Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger