So show a little inspiration/ show a little spark/ show the world a little act when you show it your read more

So show a little inspiration/ show a little spark/ show the world a little act when you show it your heart/ we've got two lives--one we're given,/ and the other one we make/ and the world won't stop/ and actions speak louder/ listen to your heart.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened read more

Deep in my heart I'm concealing things that I'm longing to say. Scared to confess what I'm feeling - frightened you'll slip away.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

God help you if you are an ugly girl, 'course too pretty is also your doom, 'cause everyone harbors a read more

God help you if you are an ugly girl, 'course too pretty is also your doom, 'cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room.

The good ole days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems.

The good ole days weren't always good, and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems.