Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

If you are invited to drink at any man's house more than you
think is wholesome, you may say read more

If you are invited to drink at any man's house more than you
think is wholesome, you may say "you wish you could, but so
little makes you both drunk and sick; that you should only be bad
company by doing so."

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Get up and dance, get up and smile, get up and drink to the days that are gone in the read more

Get up and dance, get up and smile, get up and drink to the days that are gone in the shortest while.

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

Mynheer Vandunck, though he never was drunk,
Sipped brandy and water gayly.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.