Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.