I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.