Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.