I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

Mosquitoes remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants