Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A good, honest, wholesome, hungry breakfast.

A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are

A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are

Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows

Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither