The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only read more

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.