A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.