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You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

by Ethel Barrymore Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

by Rodney Dangerfield Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

by Winston Churchill Found in: Funny Quotes,
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The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

by W. C. Fields Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

by George Burns Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

by Charlie Sheen Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

by John Wilmot Found in: Funny Quotes,
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The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

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I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

by Rita Rudner Found in: Funny Quotes,
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