I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.