Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.