Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans