Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.