I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”