Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.