There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.