A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure