No more prizes for predicting rain. Prizes only for building arks.

No more prizes for predicting rain. Prizes only for building arks.

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such read more

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Always have a plan, and believe in it. Nothing happens by accident.

Always have a plan, and believe in it. Nothing happens by accident.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.