What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer.

The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer.

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'

Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'

Nobody dies from lack of sex. It's lack of love we die from.

Nobody dies from lack of sex. It's lack of love we die from.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants