Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times

Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows

Laughter and orgasm are great bedfellows

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

Sex in space is not just a good idea, it\'s survival.

Sex in space is not just a good idea, it\'s survival.

Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go

Sex is a momentary itch, love never lets you go