Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.

sex is simple, love stings afterwards.

sex is simple, love stings afterwards.

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is read more

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last

Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last

Nobody dies from lack of sex. It's lack of love we die from.

Nobody dies from lack of sex. It's lack of love we die from.

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither