Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.