When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough read more

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is read more

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.