Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is read more

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.