Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

Our lives are not in the lap of the gods, but in the lap of our
cooks.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I\'m not hungry enough to eat six.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.