If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn