I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are read more

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.