I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.