There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

Love is just a system for getting someone to call you darling after sex

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

Sex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.

A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are

A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are

sex is simple, love stings afterwards.

sex is simple, love stings afterwards.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.