The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing read more

The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing else to recommend her but a pair of thighs and choice hunkers, and so smart to void their seed that they marry her at once. They imagine they can live in marvelous contentment with handsome feet and ambrosial buttocks. Most men are accredited fools shortly after they leave the womb.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

In peace the sons bury their fathers, but in war the fathers bury their sons.

In peace the sons bury their fathers, but in war the fathers bury their sons.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently.

Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.

Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut read more

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.