I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

A woman who pretends to laugh at love is like a child who sings at night when he is afraid

A woman who pretends to laugh at love is like a child who sings at night when he is afraid

If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.

If men knew all that women think, they'd be twenty times more daring.

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his read more

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone.

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a read more

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.

Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at.

A mother understands what a child does not say.

A mother understands what a child does not say.