Dave Barry

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and read more

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks