Dave Barry

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer read more

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although read more

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.