Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like read more

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

If Rosa Parks had taken a poll before she sat down in the bus in Montgomery, she'd still be standing. read more

If Rosa Parks had taken a poll before she sat down in the bus in Montgomery, she'd still be standing. -Mary Frances Berry.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

Patience makes a woman beautiful in middle age.

The government is becoming the family of last resort.

The government is becoming the family of last resort.

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a read more

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.