Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.

Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete read more

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors.

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.

Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.

Only a few human beings should grow to the square mile; they are commonly planted too close.

Only a few human beings should grow to the square mile; they are commonly planted too close.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.