A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your read more

A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

I would be married, but I'd have no wife, I would be married to a single life.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, read more

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut read more

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.