Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.

Woman was God's second mistake.

Woman was God's second mistake.

For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition.

For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely unnatural condition.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.