Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does read more

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does too.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, read more

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.

All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.

Women are the real architects of society. -Harriet Beecher Stowe.

Women are the real architects of society. -Harriet Beecher Stowe.