A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her read more

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn read more

In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that _men_ know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is _look_ at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home.

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks.

Men are like a deck of cards. You'll find the occasional king, but most are jacks.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to read more

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he read more

If you want to know about a man you can find out an awful lot by looking at who he married.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.