I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best read more

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best friend's my wife. Who could ask for anything more?

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a read more

Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a little learning will do, well-bread, chaste, and tender. As to religion, a moderate stock will satisfy me. She must believe in God and hate a saint.

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your read more

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask read more

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask me, What if a man tries to be part of the home -- will the woman let him? I answer yes. Because then he becomes one of the children.

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know read more

Men don't know much about women. We do know when they're happy. We know when they're crying, and we know when they're pissed off. We just don't know in what order these are gonna come at us.

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.

Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.