God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met. read more

God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met. -Farrah Fawcett.

The kind of power mothers have is enormous. Take the skyline of Istanbul -- enormous breasts, pathetic little willies, a read more

The kind of power mothers have is enormous. Take the skyline of Istanbul -- enormous breasts, pathetic little willies, a final revenge on Islam. I was so scared I had to crouch in the bottom of the boat when I saw it.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, read more

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.

All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy read more

It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.

Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the read more

Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee.