Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. read more

Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay on Top of Me Or I'll Die.' I didn't know what I was gonna do....".

It is the woman who chooses the man who will choose her.

It is the woman who chooses the man who will choose her.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

There is no kind of harassment that a man may not inflict on a woman with impunity in civilized societies.

There is no kind of harassment that a man may not inflict on a woman with impunity in civilized societies.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

A good husband makes a good wife.

A good husband makes a good wife.

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" read more

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another.".

Though bachelors be the strongest stakes, married men are the best binders, in the hedge of the commonwealth.

Though bachelors be the strongest stakes, married men are the best binders, in the hedge of the commonwealth.

Being a gentleman is the number one priority, the chief question integral to our national life.

Being a gentleman is the number one priority, the chief question integral to our national life.