She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

She has the answer to everything and the solution to nothing.

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly read more

A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I've had a wonderful evening - but this wasn't it.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.

The way to procure insults is to submit to them: a man meets with no more respect than he exacts.