Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if read more

When a man gets up to speak, people listen, then look. When a woman gets up, people look; then, if they like what they see, they listen.

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.

I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your read more

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family.

He followed in his father's footsteps, but his gait was somewhat erratic.

He followed in his father's footsteps, but his gait was somewhat erratic.

All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.

All women are born evil. Some just realize their potential later in life than others.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.

The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them.