I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

The society of women is the element of good manners.

The society of women is the element of good manners.

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.

Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the read more

Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

The man that blushes is not quite a brute.

The man that blushes is not quite a brute.

If all men are born free, why is it that all women are born slaves?

If all men are born free, why is it that all women are born slaves?

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.