"And now, Madam," I addressed her, "we shall try who shall get the
breeches."

"And now, Madam," I addressed her, "we shall try who shall get the
breeches."

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his read more

You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was really made from his funny bone.

Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to read more

Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved

Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Every theory of love, from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in read more

Every theory of love, from Plato down teaches that each individual loves in the other sex what he lacks in himself.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.