A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her read more

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.

The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing read more

The majority of persons choose their wives with as little prudence as they eat. They see a troll with nothing else to recommend her but a pair of thighs and choice hunkers, and so smart to void their seed that they marry her at once. They imagine they can live in marvelous contentment with handsome feet and ambrosial buttocks. Most men are accredited fools shortly after they leave the womb.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.

No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him read more

No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in love with him first.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like read more

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.