The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

I think men are afraid to be with a successful woman, because we are terribly strong, we know what we read more

I think men are afraid to be with a successful woman, because we are terribly strong, we know what we want and we are not fragile enough.

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know read more

Women are most fascinating between the ages of thirty-five and forty, after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass forty, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as read more

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, though rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

In peace the sons bury their fathers, but in war the fathers bury their sons.

In peace the sons bury their fathers, but in war the fathers bury their sons.

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a read more

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one

In my case, adulthood itself was not an advance, although it was a useful waymark.

In my case, adulthood itself was not an advance, although it was a useful waymark.