The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to read more

I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, read more

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old read more

The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old servants of regrets. Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits.

Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where read more

Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.

There is a destiny that makes us brothers, No one goes his way alone; All that we send into the read more

There is a destiny that makes us brothers, No one goes his way alone; All that we send into the lives of others, Comes back into our own.