Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does read more

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family does too.

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

Diamonds never leave you... men do!

I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.

I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too!

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with read more

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She read more

Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say, "Women don't have what it takes. -Clare Boothe Luce.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like read more

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.