The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best read more

I've had the boyhood thing of being Elvis. Now I want to be with my best friend, and my best friend's my wife. Who could ask for anything more?

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.

The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old read more

The only time you really live fully is from thirty to sixty. The young are slaves to dreams; the old servants of regrets. Only the middle-aged have all their five senses in the keeping of their wits.

A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who read more

A man who marries a woman to educate her falls a victim to the same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like read more

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.

If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, read more

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family: Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.