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If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the read more
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
In the end, everything is a gag.
In the end, everything is a gag.
My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.
My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a read more
If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
There's a woman in China having a baby every 6 minutes.
They're trying to find her to stop her.
There's a woman in China having a baby every 6 minutes.
They're trying to find her to stop her.
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if read more
To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, 'Hey, can you give me a hand?' you can say, 'Sorry, got these sacks.'
Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic
genius.
Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic
genius.
