Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' read more

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but read more

Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.