Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you read more

Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one read more

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

There's a woman in China having a baby every 6 minutes.
They're trying to find her to stop her.

There's a woman in China having a baby every 6 minutes.
They're trying to find her to stop her.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.

Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.

Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.

Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals.